Horacio Hornblower enters

Horacio Hornblower enters the bar and tells the barman to get him a V.B stubby.


barman: A what?

H.H: A Victoria Bitter beer in a small bottle, and hurry!!! I`ve had a crappy couple of days and I need some great Aussie beer now.

barman: Ahhh, a V.B stubby, comming right up.

The barman can see that this hulking giant is a bit upset and inquires why.

H.H: I`m upset because I`m bored! I`m bored because I`ve only had 1 bout so far. A bout that resulted in a draw against Mr.Nancyboy Stephens.
I don`t think the GM likes me that much.
Get us another beer," knackers".

The barman comes back with a stubby for H.H.

barman: So why do you think your unliked?

H.H: I don`t know, I`m a little paranoid about people not taking to me.
Ever since my accident in my previous job I recken they just look down on me and think I`m a joke.


The barman asks about the accident but HH refuses to answer any questions on the subject.

After 45 minutes and 6 more stubbies H.H is beginning to loosen up a bit.

HH: I use to be an actor. I made several movies. I was going to be the "NEXT BIG THING", and then" boing", all over.

barman: "Boing"? What do you mean? You look like a picture of health. Surely you couldn`t have lost your job from a injury.

HH: Thats where your wrong, my pommy mate. The injury I sustained was the worst kind of injury a Adult movie actor could have.

barman: You made porn??? Boy O boy. How many movies did you make?


HH: get us another VB and I will tell you.

After the barman got back the Aussie Avalanche continued


HH: 12 movies in 3 months I made. You may of seen me in some of then.........."The good, the bad and the well hung", "Come plow my field", "The adventures of a milkman". That one won me the coveded Golden Member award.


barman: So what happened to you?


HH with a tear in his eye: No! Iv`e said too much. Your a nice bloke, knackers. Grab me another and bring it over to a table. I want to be left alone now.

And with that Horacio Hornblower retired to a distant table.